For the record, I want you all to know that I proved myself to be fully domesticated yesterday. I changed the bedding, cleaned the house, did three loads of laundry AND made baked potato soup from scratch, complete with crescent rolls. So really – doesn’t a domesticated bitch like myself deserve a good guy??? Apparently not.
So here we go… the quality of men who contact me online are akin to the guys in Deliverance – ok maybe not that bad, but distant cousins definitely!
Wow bouncer606 is back again – have I told you about him yet? He’s the guy who is dressed in what can only be described as bright blue spandex – yes, SPANDEX – shorts, I guess you could call them, and a t-shirt, posed like a cool guy with his arm propped on the fireplace mantle. He’s a “heartbroken countryboy” looking for his perfect match. For his intro, he says (again, as typed and verbatim), “Im a divorced man since 1991 looking for a longterm relationship.I haven’t dated for 4 years and decided to try to get back into dating.I had a very bad relationship that tore my heart to pieces.Im looking for a romantic lady who enjoys the fun things in life.I like making candlelight dinners,taking evening walks.I want a lady who doesnt play games and is honest.I like to make people laugh and smile.Im very easygoing and not to much bothers me.Im a countryboy and I do know how to treat a lady!”
Ok, aside from his aversion to the spacebar after using a period, and punctuation, I can’t help but be wary of a guy who, aside from the spandex, has been divorced for four years and is just now getting back into dating?? What? Shit dude, I may not enter into committed relationships, but I’ll date (and call booty calls dating because that entails social interaction which is basically all a date is). So yea…..spandex dude’s got to go!
Next is ohjeff who, once again, winked. God I fucking hate that – just write a one-line email or something. Anyways, he is short, a Libra, lives in Macedonia (which is 35 miles away) and is in the process of getting a divorce. His ideal first date is to meet for coffee. Really? Because I’m going to drive half an hour to meet you for a cup of coffee? (have I mentioned my utter lack of enthusiasm for any kind of distance ie: live outside of my county relationship? Blah…)
The next contestant is matthew….his profile says “I am a fun and comical guy to be around i;ll always keep ya smiling[easy going] respectful][loyal to my family and loved ones……im not a player and im not looking for one night stands in anyway i want a real woman thats in to family and wants to be my partner and best freind and to go threw the trials and tribulations of life together……… “ ok, I admit it, I am a punctuation snob. I just can’t do it. I know I need to relax my standards….I’m working on it.
You know what? Fuck that. Why should I relax my standards? Is it so wrong to expect a guy to dress like a normal person instead of spandex, know how to write a complete sentence and not be an anti-social takes four years to recover from a failed relationship tool? No, I don’t think so. As such, I will continue with my punctuation snobbery and continue the endless search for a guy who will not annoy the ever living hell out of me.
Anyway, this is a fascinating perspective on this topic. Please update this blog on a more regular basis! Also, do you allow your readers to submit to you topics they would like to personally ask you about? Right now I have a question on this topic because I am suffering through a complicated situation with a girl I like and I am not sure how to move forward. I’d really like to get your advice…or perhaps someone can recommend a book that I ought to read?
Hi – It’s good to find such interesting writing on the Internet as I have been able to discover here. I agree with most of what is written here and I’ll be returning to this site again. Thanks again for publishing such great reading material!!
Sounds like to me you can’t choose wisely to begin with.
One thing I have learned in my attempts at online dating is that women are even screwier and more superficial than men.
Under 6’9″ tall? Nope, you’re out! Make less than $100K? Ferget it, bub! Whaddya mean ya’already have a couple of kids? Don’t look like Brad Pitt or George Clooney? What a loser!
Yeesh.
Sounds like this bitch has an anger management problem. I was right in believing online dating is all fraud, mostly because the women are screwballs. This proves my point.
I’M WITH YA MIKE AND AJ. THESE WOMEN ON ONLINE DATING SERVICES HAVE TOO HIGH OF STANDARDS. JUST LIKE THIS ONE, MOST ARE TOO QUICK TO JUDGE AND HAVE NO COMPASSION. JUST B/C A GUY HAS BEEN DIVORCED FOR A WHILE DOESN’T MEAN HE HASN’T DATED A FEW TIMES ALONG THE WAY. ALSO, THERE ARE GOOD GUYS(NOT LOOKING FOR A BOOTY CALL) LIKE MYSELF WHO IS TIRED OF THE LOCAL DATING SCENE AND WANTS TO EXPLORE OTHER VENUES. ALSO, WHAT IS WITH THIS HEIGHT THING?? I AM 5’10″ AND HAD NO COMPLAINTS IN FORMER RELATIONSHIPS. THE PROBLEM IS WITH THESE WOMEN IS THAT THEY ARE LOOKING FOR MR. RIGHT(IN THEIR EYES) AS A DOCTOR OR LAWYER, MAKES 100K+ A YEAR, BIG HOUSE IN THE COUNTRY AND NO CHILDREN. SORRY, WE CAN’T ALL HAVE THE GOOD LIFE, BUT WE CAN LIVE RESPECTABLY.
Women screwier than men? I don’t think so, not on-line anyway. Mike, John & AJ, when a woman meets a man who can’t spell, can’t conjugate verbs, can’t write, and doesn’t know the first thing about politics or world events, she will pass him over, if she’s smart. Being discerning doesn’t make a woman a bitch, it makes her intelligent and shows she cares for herself. I don’t care that much about height or yearly income. What I care about is intelligence. And that is sorely lacking in the pool of men who are available for on-line dating.
“I don’t care that much about height or yearly income. What I care about is intelligence.”—-
Yeah, okaaaaay. And I don’t care that much if a woman looks good in a bikini or not.
The entry was made three years ago. But hey, people responded in 2011, whos to say you can’t have a conversation dragging on for a decade.
Seems to me the problem isn’t online dating. It is dating in general, or to be more precise. She want’s mr perfect. Unfortunetly for her mr perfect is allready raising his kids with missis perfect.
I agree with the last comment. I think she’s picky. Ok, so it’s great to have standards such as punctuation and so forth, but the trouble is, when people are too picky, they may just find themselves ending up all alone.
I’m male, just turned 40, am single with no kids (I guess by the article writer’s standards there must be something wrong with me?), but the truth is that I’ve totally given up on woman. And No, that does not mean I’m gay. Open your mind!
The reason I’ve given up is because it’s hard enough finding someone who wants to talk, or you’re judged too soon. It’s almost like you throw in a little humour. Oops, false move! Or you’re misunderstood, or (put in 100 other combinations of reasons here).
I wanted to meet someone to share life with, to laugh with, to plan with. I have a sense of humor and love to laugh and act a fool every now & then to liven things up. But it’s too late now because I won’t have anything to do with them.
I’m at the stage where now, even if a women was interested in me, I’d turn her down and say that I’m happy being single and that “I’m not looking to meet anyone”, because that’s what the women seem to be saying. So they can feel what it’s like.
The others who actually DO want to meet someone are, well, too picky (or at least some of them are). All I ever wantED was a woman who would be bold enough to NOT be too soon to judge, and to give me a chance. They would have realised that I’m loving, responsible, and I would not cheat. But none of that matters now because 1: I didn’t live up to their expectations online for whatever reason, and 2: I’ll be stuffed if I’m going to spend the next 40 years (if I live that long) chasing after the fairer sex who seems to like ignoring people.
Online Dating is just that. Online dating. I mean that literally. You ‘date’ ONLINE! Goodluck to all of you who are still having dates online, because you’re going to need it!