Ok ladies – as infuriating as men can be sometimes, there’s really no reason to carry on a vindictive rampage for more than a couple days. I have been privy to several women’s vindictive warpaths over the years and really, in the end, rather than coming off as the superior partner in the relationship, you come off as an evil, sour, selfish C-U-N-T who is neither desirable nor likeable. Case in point:
The girl who gets knocked up on purpose to try to “keep” her boyfriend. There’s a reason you guys broke up the first ten times and having a baby is not going to fix things. So congratulations on becoming another statistic, adding another child to my child support – I mean taxes – and not ending up with the baby’s daddy anyways. Because you guys still couldn’t get along well enough to be a couple, do not then try to control your baby’s daddy’s life by holding screaming matches with his latest live-in love, dictating when/where he can see his son, mandating that the visitation is by your social calendar alone and doing anything else you can to receive the maximum child support payment and work the minimum number of hours possible when your child care [your mother] is free. Your baby’s daddy doesn’t ask who you sleep with when you don’t have your son, why is his love life any of your business? Embrace the fact that without the sperm donor you unsuccessfully tried to trap, you wouldn’t have the gorgeous child in your arms and get over it. He may be an ass, but that doesn’t give you license to be a bitter bitch the rest of your life.
The 2nd wife who treats the child/children from her husband’s first marriage like shit. You are evil bitches. Look – the guy had a life with you and his children are a part of the package deal. [This is also assuming the kids are actually good kids, well-behaved, etc….if they are out of control hellions, you are the dumbass who committed yourself to a jerk-off who won’t raise his kids to be respectful adults so that’s your own damn fault.] You have no right to ridicule, chastise or refuse to share the rearing of innocent children just because you’re a selfish, insecure, jealous, immature, poor excuse of a woman who cannot step up to the plate and accept your role as a step-mother but instead makes those children’s lives a living hell.
The ex-girlfriend/ex-wife who’s always trying to seduce your ex-boyfriend/ex-husband every chance you get. Really, you come off as just a desperate bi-polar (he’s not good enough to live with but good enough to fuck) slutty bitch who’s determined to play on a guy’s insecurities and feelings (especially if you have kids together) and who wins in that situation? The guy who got his dick sucked and mind fucked or the indecisive not-to-be-trusted lonely bitch who won’t make the effort to get her own man but just keeps playing with the ones she threw away? Come on – get new booty – that’ll fuck with your ex’s head more than you sleeping with him randomly anyways because it means you’ve moved on.
The ex-wife who tries to suck the life out of her ex-husband and uses the kids as pawns. Ok this one is a big no-no in my book and you chicks are just total C-U-N-T’s who really are reserving your places in Hell next to Jeffrey Dahmer and Hitler as far as I’m concerned and you give the rest of us chicks a bad name and a bunch of guys totally disgusted by the female race. You know who you are. You go for maximum child support/alimony because the more you get, the less you work. You insist the ex-husband pay for every sport and summer camp YOU’VE enrolled the kids in and then tell them he doesn’t love his kids when he refuses to fork over more money. You spy on his new girlfriend. You stalk his new girlfriend. You tell your children that if they dare to like his new wife then that means they don’t really love you. You deny your new marriage (which would cancel your alimony checks) and insist it was just a “commitment” ceremony, even though you were registered on weddingchannel.com and your daughter said the wedding was beautiful. You are evil, life-sucking, penis-shriveling shrews. You got divorced, bitch; get over it. Reclaim your independence and focus on being a great mother, not a mediocre guardian to your children and an over-analyzing pathetic excuse of a woman. Spare me the “I don’t date because it’s not fair to the kids” or “I don’t work so I can be home for my kids [ages 10 and 14]” routine. It’s old, it’s over-used and it’s bullshit. You’re just too bitter to move on with your life and if you’re going to be bitter, you’re going to make sure everyone else is going to be bitter too. That’s just, well, pathetic. Tell Jeff and Adolf I said Hi.